DOOMSDAY
It says in the bible that nobody will ever calculate the day when Jesus returns... I was actually invited to a frieds house tonight. The text read:
"End of the world is tomorrow. Wanna come to my house and live out all of our wildest dreams??"
It was from my ex-girlfriend so I was about to jump on that. I text her back and asked:
"Could I bring my neighbor? Ya know, the brunett with the huge ti+s?"
She said:
"Hell NO!!!"
I siad:
"So much for my wildest dreams.."
And now, I am sitting on my couch, watching Jimmy Fallon and browsing NBADraft.net..
I am gonna regret this in a few days...
How have you not heard of this yet?
For the record, May 21st is not doomsday. It's supposedly the date that Jesus Christ comes back to Earth and takes all his buddies back to heaven with him as any non-believers rot on Earth for another five months until God swiftly sends us all to hell on October 21st.
Well it has been around for a couple years but has really picked up some steam in the past few months when the guy that is saying it was interview and put on CNN or something...
Not exactly something people hear about all the time till last week...
Dont bank on it though.. There have been lots and lots of dooms days that have never come about..
The same guy predicted the second-coming of Jesus in 1994, but when nothing happened he claimed he made a miscalculation and set a new date of May 21st.
"And now, I am sitting on my couch, watching Jimmy Fallon and browsing NBADraft.net..
I am gonna regret this in a few days..."
Maybe Jimmy Fallon is Jesus and NBADraft.net is heaven.
We're ahead of the curb, Brother Deadly.
cyclo is a devout Christian, so Jesus will save him from us.
He was quoted on his Twitter account, saying that "Christianity has to be the right religion. Jesus has the longest wingspan of all deities. #religiouscombine"
Maybe.. I have some issues with people trying to predict stuff like this anyway.. The bible has been changed and alterd since it was originally written so we cant use it to try to predict aything like dates or times.. We should just do our best to make this life as good as we want it, if your a christian, be a good one, if not, be good at whatever you are, and try to make the most of this life because nobody knows when the next one is coming or what it holds...
There is my NBADraft.net sermon... LoL
Thank you for making me laugh on this last night before everything gets f'd up. sucks i gotta spend it at work :(. Just seeing your profile pic puts a smile on my face ev erytime. figures the lottery favored the jazz for once the worlds gonna end before we get to make the pick. hope i dont get called up in the rapture i was looking forward to watching the hangover 2.
I already told to not even knock on the door alone.. LoL.. Turns out she has been drinking and she reasured me that she "nevur drinks alone".. So 1 or 2 of 4 things is gonna happen...
1. I get lucky with 2 drunk girls.
2. I have to fight some guy with her.
3. She comes here and falls asleep.
4. They wont do anything and I call her cab to come back...
LoL
I see it like this:
1. Win - Obvious reasons..
2. Win - I have seen her current BF and I am not worried at all.. LoL
3. Win - I will call the busty brunett
4. Loss - I never make someone who leaves my house, unable to drive, pay for their own cab...
I hate when people try to predict the end of the world, Is your life so miserable that you try to put people in panic for no reason. I wrote this earlier today somewhere "Everyone thinks the worlds ends tom., I dont but its still funny when people say and do shiit they will regret when it doesn't happen"
1. Win - Two drunk girls. Twenty new finger prints. 'Nuff said.
2. Win - If you win the fight you can cut his chest open and eat his heart. Then you'll gain his delicious courage.
3. Win - Busty brunette.
4. Win - I happen to know that particular cab driver, and he's actually really nice for a convicted rapist. You learn a valuable lesson in stereotyping.
#optimism
Bahaha.
Here is my current situation.. I told my roommate what is about to go down and now he is trying to steal my thunder.. He is giddy and jumping around but I have bad news for him.. He aint bustin my balls and he is gonna leave in the next 10 minutes.. Is this a bad move on my part?? Should I even consider him?? Or do I tell him to get the &$#%#&@! out?
He is a huge cockblocker btw... However, he has helped me before...
I say tell your roommate to leave not in an pissed off way or anything, This is your thing and plus the girls might back off if ythey see someone else(therefore cockblocking you),
Alright you using a laptop, thats straight, thats a huge plus that they're getting your favorite drink and driving 45 mins.
I think I am gonna try to time it just right so that he has to leave when they are gettin here.. He wont play the "Bro Card" and let me have this one..
Im about to text the girls and make them blow him off so I dont have to.. Fighting with your roommate about girls sucks... He starts bein a lil B-I-T-C-H about everything and I have to hear him wine.. If they say something to him, then I get to laugh at him and make fun for the next year...
2. Win - If you win the fight you can cut his chest open and eat his heart. Then you'll gain his delicious courage.
Remember, if you hear any gargling sounds coming from your closet, it's just your friendly neighborhood NoMoney rubbing his nipples and scratching himself with your hangers.
LMAO!! wtf dont kill me. Funny sh!t. This will be the start of something great.
Lol just got off work, had some girl come up to me and kiss me goodbye saying that this might be the last day she see's me. I was like WTF...turns out theres this May 21st, 2011 doomsday theory. lol.
So for all of you, I thought I'd give a nice toast to the most sickly basketball addicted mofo's if ever chatted with.