My friend, Kendall: How many legs does a rooster have?
My friend, Brian: Uh...two?
Kendall: How many legs do three roosters have?
Kendall: How many teeth does a cat have?
Brian: I don't know!
Kendall: Wow, you sure know a lot more about c*cks than p*ssies!
Got yelled at in front of the whole class Pre-Cal today............for writing with a pen#WTF
Daughter (to Dad): Did you lose a contact?
Dad (on the ground): No, I'm looking for the f*** you never gave while I was raising you! Yes, I lost a contact!
I saw a bunch of kids fighting over a packet of biscuits, the funny part was that the packet was empty and the kids knew that.
Hilarious up until 8:35
If my god damn ceramics teacher tries to screw me over one more time I'm gonna give her the "We talkin' bout Ceramics!" speech.
My Ceramics Teacher is hell bent on failing me, I think she meant to last semester but forgot she hated me and gave me an A.
A pretty funny story my Brother told me. Before you read this story you need to know the school I went to and my brother now goes to in the UK has a horrendously low graduation rate and is being closed next year. Anyway the school still has fire alarm's that you push to set off and lately these alarms were being set off nearly every day and the school was confused because they had constantly warned the students to stop doing it or there would be severe punishments. Anyway after about 3 weeks the school discovered that a "intellectually challenged" student had been told that if he pressed the fire alarm it would play music out loud for the whole school, he was also convinced in the part of the school the alarm's were in didn't play music but instead played a siren. The teachers apparently found it so funny no one was punished other than the kid who convinced the dumb kid to do it in the first place. I actually met one of my old teachers recently who verified that this was true and the school was in the process of changing the entire alarm system because of it.
The best part is Kenny's reaction at the end.
Yesterday, my Manager at work advised me to "cut corners" to save time. Today, I was in the office with him after finishing his schedules, he rose up and hit his head on the corner of the cupboard above. Poetic justice.
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